Sorry guys, I have to get this off my chest.
I’ve been “seeing” this guy for almost a year now and I told him a long time ago that I wanted a serious relationship but he insisted that we remain “just friends” a.k.a. fuck buddies because I’m in university still and he wants me to have fun and “do my thing.” He told me that he doesn’t want to be the jealous boyfriend, constantly wondering about where I am or what I am doing when I go out with my friends. Because I really liked this guy, I decided to continue our “fuck buddy” relationship. We started seeing each other every weekend and going on dates all the time and talking everyday. I never fooled around with anyone else, not even kissing other guys.
This last week he found out that I kissed this random guy for a drinking challenge and claimed it didn’t bother him at all. Well whadda yah fucking know… today he’s messaging me and says that he is going to try and sleep with one of my best friends seeing as how I apparently make out with random dudes all the time. I know he was just trying to get a rise out of me and I gave in. I got really angry and reminded him that I said long ago that I was a one guy kind of girl and that he wasn’t interested in that then so he shouldn’t hold it against me now. He didn’t want to be the jealous boyfriend, yet he’s now acting like the jealous boyfriend, even though he reminds me over and over again that he is NOT my boyfriend. And what pisses me off most is how much control I let him have over me. He thinks that he can decide when I am and when I am not his girl whenever it is most convenient for him.
I guess I’m just tired of waiting, hoping that someday he will come around and ask me to be his girlfriend. It makes me sad that he makes me feel like I will never be good enough for him.